BitterSweet

Oh man, Christmas is over. I feel relieved that it’s over, but it’s always a little sad. This was the most nontraditional Christmas of my entire life. Mom is gone up North so the house is empty, there was no Christmas Eve party at my grandma’s house for the first time in my life, I spent Christmas Day making dinner and playing hide and go seek with my best friends, and I didn’t get to see my grandpa because on his way up the my grandma’s this morning his brother called him and asked him to take him to the hospital because he was short of breath. He is scheduled for open heart surgery on January 4th, but they will probably do it within the next few days since he is having such complications. I am more worried about the effect it’s going to have on my grandpa if his brother dies than the fact that my great uncle might die. My grandpa is already depressed. He is either crying or flying off the handle and he isn’t in the best of health. He’s the only fatherly example I’ve ever had. When he dies, I will be so heart broken. But if he dies sad, I will live sad. All I can hope for is that he puts his pride aside and gets what he needs to be happy again… something besides Ambien. Another thing that was missing from this year was my best friend Bre. She’s my sister from another mister. With out her, I wouldn’t be half the person I am today. She’s in New Mexico, and obviously, that’s where I should be too. Even though this year was different from all the others, I got to spend the night at my grandma’s house, which I haven’t done since I was a child and it was amazing, I made a bitchin dinner for the boys I care for the most, and I played silly dumb games with my best friends and had the most fun I’ve had all month. Now I just gotta get through New Years. My resolution last year was, for once, to not have a stupid lame ass New Years this year and uhh, I don’t think that’s gonna happen. Pretty sure this is gonna be a sober, boring, “woo hoo midnight. Ok I’m goin home”, New¬† Years. Again. So if you’re planing to party down and get wasted, hit me up.. please.

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Christmas Craziness

Holidays are always crazy. Mine just got significantly more complicated. Since I got this job I couldn’t go to the Christmas Eve party at my grandma’s house this year. It’s been at her house since.. forever. And it bummed me out, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Well, I guess this year has kind of sucked for everyone. Everyone in the fam bam has either had back surgery or they’re out of town or whatever. So with out me it would have been my grandpa, grandma, and my grandpa’s brother, who is having heart surgery in January. Yeap. Pretty kickin crowd. So since I wasn’t going to be there, there was going to be no Christmas. And since my grandpa works all day Christmas Eve and couldn’t do a day thing, my grandma was treating him “like the god damn grinch..”. So me and my grandpa made a plan. Now I am going to head up the hill after I get off of work on Christmas Eve, spend the night, and have Christmas morning with them, and then head back down to Bako and start cooking for Christmas dinner with the boys. So… lots of Christmas this year! I love Christmas, so I am glad I’m doing something with the family. Nothing will top the insanity of last years though. I worked from 6:30 AM to 3:00 PM on Christmas Eve and then 1:00 PM to 10:00 PM Christmas Day, in Monterey. So I left after work on Christmas Eve, drove my friend to Fresno so she could be with her family, drove to Bakersfield, then drove to Tehachipi, had Christmas, drove back to Bako and slept for a while, then got up in the morning and headed to Monterey to be at work by 1. It was crazy! But it was worth it. They mean a lot to me. Even though one takes enough Vicodin a day to kill a small horse and the other is a strict, impossible to please asshole. But they’re mine and I’m theirs and somehow we all love each other and that’s all that matters.