Two Hundred Forty Nine

Today has been such a cluster fuck I can’t even deal with it. God dammit today was so horrible. I haven’t talked about it much on here, but I’m moving to Monterey in a month. Which is great, but I have no fucking way of getting my stuff up there. My plan was to rent a trailer from U-haul, because ya know, everyone and their God damn mother uses U-haul so it couldn’t be that expensive. Weellll I went there today to see how much it would be and it would be almost $400 to tow a trailer to Monterey. Same with renting a truck. You know who won’t have $400 to spend on a fucking U-haul? Me. I am exceptionally stressed out about it. Like, had to use every fiber of my being to not sob in Food Maxx and even then I still teared up a few times about it. And it’s not just that. The whole day was terrible. I woke up with no voice. I gained freakin 1.6 pounds this week. I forgot my apron for work. I had no food all day. My boss for some reason took it upon himself to personally attack my intelligence all day. Work was full of really stupid situations that were all completely preventable and not my fault, but still got blown up in my face anyway. I am worried about getting a good enough job in Monterey to survive. NSKDJFNSBLSHDBFSHBLHJB! I just want to be up there SO bad. I hate this place so much. The opportunity being given to me, and then it possibly not being able to happen due to some dumb shit like money is really making me pretty hysterical. I just have no words to describe my need for this to all work out. I know it’s hitting me so hard because I care about it so much. Whatever. I’m done with being alive for the day. I’m gonna continue to sit here and cry all night. Peace.

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