One Hundred Eighty Six

Aside from my boobs looking super crooked… HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!! I hope everyone is celebrating with meat cooked over fire and beer and more fire. Yesterday I mentioned that my family wasn’t doing anything, but it turns out they are doing something and I was invited last night.. anndd thank baby Jesus because I was freakin depressed. I need to celebrate holidays, it’s just not an option for me not to. I die inside. BUT it’s cool because I’m going to a big ass awesome barbeque. Yay. 🙂 Ummm soooo I don’t know if you guys really understand how amazing this next sentence is, so I’m just gonna say it. BRE IS COMING. My bestfriendsister is going to be Thursday night. I have missed her everyday since I last saw her in December, and everyday before that since I left for college. Annndddd she’s going to be here, in person… sleeping in my apartment. She’s leaving the next day, but I got my shift covered at work so I could spend as much time with her as possible. It’s embarrassingly exciting. You know what else is exciting? That I lost the 2 pounds I gained over my birthday. Yeeeeeesssss. So now I am at the weight I was at before my birthday, which is still about 10-15 pounds from where I want to be, but damn I’m pumped with two pounds since I didn’t step foot in a gym even once. Baller. I do wish I was thinner though. Because the family I am seeing tonight hasn’t seen me since I’ve lost weight, and I know I should be proud of what I’ve done, but I can’t help but want it to be better. It just doesn’t seem mentally obvious to me that I’ve lost weight. I see it, but I don’t see it. It shouldn’t really matter, but I want them to notice. Mostly because they had no fucking problem noticing that I was over weight. I guess we’ll see what happens. I don’t want everyone like swooning over me, but it’s always extremely rewarding when people notice with out you having to bring it up. We’ll see what happens. I’m just excited for food and spending some time with people I haven’t seen in a while. So, imma go do that now :). Everyone have a wonderful and safe night!

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