One Hundred Seventy Six

What an uneventful day. Not even worth putting on makeup for, as you can see. Work was average, the afternoon was average, I am sure tonight will not be much more or less average. I’m not really complaining. It’s nice sometimes to just have a super neutral day. Nothing crazy or stressful or even particularly exciting. You need days like this so that both bad and good days keep their value. On a totally unsimilar topic, do I have fat eye lids? Like, maybe it’s the lighting, but when I don’t wear make up my eyes look… fat? Puffy? Swollen? I don’t like that. Kay, tangent ending. Exciting things are happening tomorrow. Well, one exciting thing. The G-parents and I are celebrating my birfday and Father’s Day at El Pueblo. Fucking amazingly delicious and awesome? YES. Weight loss friendly….. ? No. But that’s ok. My eating since I have been back has been immaculate. That still definitely does not make up for the crazy shit I ate during my birthday or the possibly crazy shit I’ll eat tomorrow night, but I can’t change it now and I have to remember it was fun and worth it. And then it’s a day away from weigh in Wednesday. Awwwwww balls. I am not excited to see the damage I have caused, no, but I accept it and understand that it does not affect my worth as a person. … <—- this is me trying to developed healthy self esteem habits. In my head I say it using a tone of voice that a “too nice” judge would use on a talent show. I’m not sure that’s helpful, but it’s all about baby steps, people. And I gotta do dishes and then I’m off like a bat in the night! To the Market Place… to chill with Steven… and… hang out… averagely.

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