One Hundred Eighty Two

So tired. So… so tired. Long day…Yogurtland… Mama’s….. Wesley’s birthday….. cake… fucked up…… ZzzZZzzZzZzzzzz.


One Hundred Eighty One

Well I’m fuckin tired. If it weren’t for having to write this blog I would be asleep right now. I didn’t have a necessarily long day, but I didn’t sleep very much or well last night. I did see Rock of Ages though. It’s aammmaazzziiiinnnnnnggggggg. I loved it. It’s probably not for movie snobs… but if you like the 80’s and musicals and Russel Brandt… then go see it like right now. Tomorrow is going to ssuuccckk. I have to be at Yogurtland at 7am and then be at Mama’s until 9pm. FUACK. So lame. Alright I’m out. Peace out.

One Hundred Eighty

Uuuuugggggghhhhhhaaaaaa. I ate too much…. I’m like… so debilitated by how much food I just ate. I don’t know why. it wasn’t anything crazy. Turkey patty with sauteed mushrooms and onions and avocado. And I gotta go get ready for work. Not a lot of excitement so far today. Woke up, went grocery shopping, that’s it. Baking a tres leches cake tomorrow !! Aw yeah! Kay gotta go bye.

One Hundred Seventy Nine

Yeeeaahh it’s been a frumpy white wife beater kind of a day. Pretty much been chillin since I got up at 9. I was going to go buy all the ingredients I need for a friends birthday cake, but that didn’t happen. Ooohh weelllll. I seriously can not wait to get back into the gym tomorrow. Oh man. I feel like all of the work I did on my arms in the last 6 months has gone to waste these past couple weeks and now they are back to being gigantic and lumpy. I weighed myself this morning. I am slightly confused though. I have gained 2 pounds. 2 pounds? I’ve gained more weight than that from being on my period… and I am on my period. A week and a half of eating like an asshole, and two weeks of not going to the gym, AND being on my period… and I gained 2 pounds? That just doesn’t seem right. I mean, it’s a pleasant surprise, but I just don’t understand it. And I know A LOT about nutrition and dieting and food and how the body works anndd I got nothin. The weigh in before the week of my birthday I had gained 1.2 pounds from the week before that where I had lost 3 pounds. So I guess I should look at it as gaining 3.2 pounds from the week I was down 3 pounds, but I was eating well and exercising during that week. But 2 freakin pounds from 2 weeks of being a jackass? I’ll take it. I can’t wait to get it off again though. Like I said before, I wanna be as skinny as healthily possible. I suppose I had a slight epiphany this morning. Maybe not an epiphany because it was the mentality I started this whole process with, but basically it’s about being healthy. What’s best for my body and my goal being to be fit and bad ass and skinny and healthy as balls. That was the original vision. I have really strayed away from that over the last couple of months. I’m going to concentrate on getting back to that perspective. My food needs to have intention, my work outs need to have determination, and my mind needs to have ambition. With that combination goin strong I can’t fail. Maybe it will spill over into other aspects of my life… like what the fuck I’m doing with it!! Ugh, I’ll save that for a different day. I’m off to get ready to go close at dumb Yogurtland. I am not excited. I am an opener, dammit. Whatevs, time to make that money. Deuces!

One Hundred Seventy Eight

Man I am so not high on life. I’m not sure if there’s a specific reason. Maybe just everything piled on top of each other. Being confused about how to get back to school, what I would even major in, knowing that I have gained hella weight these last couple weeks, feeling fat, blah blah blaaaaah bitch. I’m just trying to keep from getting too down. If I let myself sink too far down into sadness it’s like nearly fuckin impossible to get myself back out of it. ANYWAY, have to weigh myself in the morning. I’ll know exactly how much damage I’ve done and how much I’ll need to fix. Ugha balls. Kay, I’m out of here. Peace out.

One Hundred Seventy Seven

Today was pretty sweet, not gonna lie. Well, work was boring. But dinner with the g-parents at El Pueblo was super fun! First off, they’re crazy. Secondly, El Pueblo has been one of my favorite restaurants since I could eat. Third, my grandpa had me chug tequila out of a cup with a very detailed penis and balls for a handle. Whipped cream cum and all. Yep. I guess all discretion and shame goes out the window once a Ceiley woman turns 21. Whatever! It was hilarious. There will be pictures tomorrow. I had one incredibly strong strawberry margarita and probably about 4 shots of tequila in the penis mug. But I had also just eaten two enchiladas so I didn’t really get drunk. Now I’m home. Gotta work ALL day tomorrow. But I get to sleeepppp in Wednesday. Yes. Ok, I’m off to slumber. Need my beauty rest ;).

One Hundred Seventy Six

What an uneventful day. Not even worth putting on makeup for, as you can see. Work was average, the afternoon was average, I am sure tonight will not be much more or less average. I’m not really complaining. It’s nice sometimes to just have a super neutral day. Nothing crazy or stressful or even particularly exciting. You need days like this so that both bad and good days keep their value. On a totally unsimilar topic, do I have fat eye lids? Like, maybe it’s the lighting, but when I don’t wear make up my eyes look… fat? Puffy? Swollen? I don’t like that. Kay, tangent ending. Exciting things are happening tomorrow. Well, one exciting thing. The G-parents and I are celebrating my birfday and Father’s Day at El Pueblo. Fucking amazingly delicious and awesome? YES. Weight loss friendly….. ? No. But that’s ok. My eating since I have been back has been immaculate. That still definitely does not make up for the crazy shit I ate during my birthday or the possibly crazy shit I’ll eat tomorrow night, but I can’t change it now and I have to remember it was fun and worth it. And then it’s a day away from weigh in Wednesday. Awwwwww balls. I am not excited to see the damage I have caused, no, but I accept it and understand that it does not affect my worth as a person. … <—- this is me trying to developed healthy self esteem habits. In my head I say it using a tone of voice that a “too nice” judge would use on a talent show. I’m not sure that’s helpful, but it’s all about baby steps, people. And I gotta do dishes and then I’m off like a bat in the night! To the Market Place… to chill with Steven… and… hang out… averagely.