One Hundred Forty One

Well it’s 10 O’clock at night and I just woke up. I am going to be awake for a while now. I missed the eclipse. Do I care? Not really. I walked in the door, got naked and went to sleep. We didn’t go running after I got off work. We went to Chipotle. I even drank a TON of freakin water all day so I would be well hydrated for running tonight. Oh well. Since I am awake now and probably will be all night, I still might make it to the gym, but I’m not promising anything. God damn this week has sucked for working out. But shit man, how much energy is a person supposed to have? Hopefully it doesn’t have too much of an effect on the scale this week. I’m making myself feel better by saying that running around at both jobs for 13 hours a day for 4 days in a row burns enough calories to make up for it. Yeah? Yeah. I am shakin’ in my boots about this weeks weigh in day. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh you guys. What if I gained more weight? I will fucking freak oooouuutttt. I will be starting my period though, but I’m pretty sure my body has already taken on the “period” weight. I can’t even think of gaining weight a second week in a row with out getting a little panicky. Shitfuckballfucker. Here’s to hoping that doesn’t happen. I’m starting to think that my birthday this year isn’t going to be much more than just a normal day. I still don’t have plans and it’s less than a month away. I can’t afford to do much. I would love to go up North to Monterey, but I can’t afford the gas… or the food, drinks, or taking the time off of work. A majority of my friends here in Bakersfield won’t be 21 yet, so it will probably just be dinner where I’m the only one who can drink and it will be pretty unexciting for the most part. And partying all crazy would probably make me gain weight and make me all stressed and miserable in the long run anyway. *Sigh. Oh well. I’ll have more birthdays I guess. I’m thinking I might be lactose intolerant. Which would SUCK because one: I’m highly addicted to frozen yogurt and two: two healthy staples in my diet are dairy products. So. Fuck. I’ve looked a whole bunch of stuff up and lactose intolerance seems to make the most sense, so I am going to stop eating yogurt and stuff for the next few days and see if that helps. And if it does help I will be happy because I figured it out, but also extremely depressed because then really everything that is delicious in my diet will be gone. Being all crazy busy the last few days has definitely taken a toll on my diet. Not in a crazy fattening way, just in a slightly malnourished way. I would have fruit or something small and fast for breakfast, then a yogurt for lunch, then something super quick like some turkey meat or chicken in between jobs, and then a big coffee or something after work. I’m so ready to get back on track tomorrow and actually have time to eat some real food. I have to say that going to Taco Bell or McDonalds were real thoughts a few times this weekend. But being sleep deprived and crap can make your shitty food cravings skyrocket. So I resisted, but it was a bitter resistance. I would eat the fuck out of some Micky D’s right now. Or a huge pizza. But alas, I will not. Mostly because the thought of gaining weight again this week makes me want to scratch my skin off in a hysterical furry a little bit. SOOOO I’m going to go eat an orange. Glad we could catch up. Peaaaccee out!


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