One Hundred Twenty Eight

I’m not even sure how I feel about today. Parts were good and parts were bad, but it was all around just an odd day. I guess I was severely dehydrated last night because I ended up getting really sick. I threw up, I could barely keep water down, I was too dizzy to stand. It was not great. I ended up crawling to bed and falling asleep because I felt so terrible. So I still felt pretty crappy and weak all day today. I got laundry done at my mom’s, but I still have to put it away. Then I came home and got a lot of my really nice, but too big, clothes to go sell at Plato’s Closet. They didn’t buy anything except one pair of jeans. Like, it was ridiculous. I was there for an hour for 5 bucks. So now I still have a ton of giant clothes I can’t wear. Out of offense and anger I went and bought a few things from TJ Maxx anyway. One pair of jeans, one shirt, a pair of shorts, new work out pants, and a maxi dress. I really, really like this dress. I am nervous about wearing it though. I might have bought it because I just really wanted it to look amazing, but I don’t think I look amazing in it anymore. My arms are still too big and my boobs are too small and it was definitely another hopeful “fat girl” purchase. It would look really great on a thin girl and I guess I just wanted to be that girl. But I’m not. Yet? Maybe. I don’t know. I didn’t have a very confident day. I felt pretty ugly all day. I don’t like what I see in the mirror still and it’s really fuckin bumming me out. I skipped the gym today because I really didn’t think I would have made it through a work out with out passing out or something. Annnndddd blahhhh blah blah shit still sucks. I’m going to go drown my deadness in some iced coffee. Peeaaaccee out.


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