One Hundred Eighteen

Well today was better than yesterday. I went to my mom’s and did laundry, which was much needed. Work was alright. I actually made it to the damn gym! I did a 10 minute mile. Woopwoop! I was going to do a mile and half, but for some reason after a mile and a quarter the treadmill just randomly stopped and gave me my work out summary. Umm, no. So whatever. I still did a 10 minute mile. The first half mile was cake, the second half mile was more like a turnover or something… I guess. The main point was that I wasn’t dead and gasping for air like I would have been 6 months ago. Tomorrow is the Greek festival! Finally! Yay. I’m excited, but also nervous. I’m nervous because I have decided to wear my blue dress. You guys have seen half of it in some of my pictures on here, but I hardly ever wear it out and if I do I wear a cardigan over it. It’s a little dress. It goes to about mid thigh and it’s sleeveless. Tomorrow I am going to wear it, just it. I just want to look pretty. Not for any particular reason really, but just to feel something positive for a change. I feel like I haven’t had a good feeling towards my weight loss or diet in weeks. I miss it. I want that feeling of pride and accomplishment back. I’m determined to get it back again. I’m starting to train for a 5K I’m doing in June. I’m going to run a 5K once a week and then at some point either increase speed or increase distance. I’m not sure when and I’m not sure which I should increase first. Running 3 miles sucks!! I did it that once and haven’t attempted it again since. It’s definitely going to be a difficult couple of months. I want to be a bad ass though!! And the only way to be a bad ass is to be more of a bad ass than the baddest of the bad asses. So with that said, I guess I’ll never be a bad ass, but dammit I’m going to act like I am. Fake it ’til you make it? Yes. Except for orgasms. It doesn’t work with orgasms. Turns out those have to actually happen. Oh well. Time to clean some shit. I’m out!

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