One Hundred Sixteen

Fuckingtittyfuckballsshitassdammitfagfucker. *SIGH. I gained a pound this week. GAINED. Acquired. Increased. Accumulated. Son of a bitch. This is the first week ever during my weight loss that I have gained weight back. I can tell you right now, I am not a fan. I think the thing that is bothering me the most is that I don’t know why I gained a pound. I worked out hard all week. My diet wasn’t perfect, but it was still good. Definitely not anywhere near bad. Definitely not gain a fucking pound back bad! I don’t think it’s muscle, because a pound of muscle is quite a bit. Even though we did do a lot of strength training this week, I don’t think I gained an entire pound of muscle. Now, it COULD be because I started my period, (which just added to the greatness of the day) but I’ve never gained weight because of my period before. I really, really want to blame it on my period. The rational part of me thinks it’s “period weight” that will come off once it’s over, but the insecure fat girl in me is convinced that it’s me slowly getting fat again. I’m so fucking sad about it. I just feel like I failed this week. Especially because I wanted to lose like.. a few freakin pounds and instead I gained one. I guess I’ll get over it and recover. I want to say that I would prefer to not have to do damage control, but I guess this entire journey has been damage control. I’ll just have to work extra hard this week. Well I got promoted to shift lead again at Yogurtland. Yay? I guess. I want the money, but I’ve done that shit and Yogurtland is a hard place to “lead”. Mostly because it’s basically organizing chaos for 8 hours a day… and my over all hatred for people doesn’t help. I’m kind of over writing this entry, honestly. I don’t really have anything else to say. Plus I gotta go grocery shopping and then go to the gym. So, Good night.

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