Eighty Seven

Well, it has definitely been a strange few days. It started with this very random bout of depression, and now we are dealing with new issues with Gabe’s health. I couldn’t even do anything at Zumba this morning. Every move was either too stupid looking to make myself do or I just didn’t have the energy to try to do it. I have no energy, I feel completely apathetic. The new information on Gabe is that he has an auto immune deficiency disease. Because of the deficiency he has a blood infection, and that’s pretty much all we know. We know that it is attacking everything from his major organs to his joints, because that’s what immunity deficiencies do, but we still don’t know his specific ailment. He could have lupus, or cancer, or AIDS, or dozens of other things. Most of them seem to have the potential to be fatal. There is no cure for any type of auto immune deficiency disease so regardless of what he has he is going to have issues for the rest of his life. Basically he will just have to take anti-inflammatories and pain medication everyday forever. It’s all pretty fucked up. I’m not sure what to think about it, I’m not sure there is even a point to think anything about it until we know exactly what he has.  I guess only time will tell. One nice thing about today is that The Biggest Loser is on tonight, but that also means that tomorrow is weigh in Wednesday. I am expecting nothing. My diet was alright, my work outs were good {except today}, but I’m depressed, my birth control is fucking with my cycle hard core, and I am dehydrated. All of those things can inhibit weight loss so I am just going to accept now that I probably didn’t do very well this week. Hopefully this week will be better.

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