Fifty Four

The next two days are going to be crazy. Just because I have to get up at 6am to open at Yogurtland, then go to Moma’s at night, and I won’t be getting a lot of sleep because both nights I will be at the gym until around 11:30. Doin’ it big! I did wake up today and cook all the food I will need since I won’t be home for up to 17 hours each day. So at least that’s taken care of. Tonight at the gym I’m doin laps in the pool! I am excited because I know it is going to kick my ass. Also, my knee is messed up. I think from the impact of running this last week. So having a good low-impact, but ass kicking work out tonight will be good. I have gotten a couple of positive comments from people about how I look, which is always very nice and uplifting. I am at a place where I can see the difference and the improvement in myself, but I also see a ton of things I still need to fix. I need to lose fat pretty much everywhere still. I know I have a ton muscle, so I am not too worried about toning once the fat is gone. I am pretty sure that no matter how thin my arms get, they will always bother me. I am also not happy with my legs or my mid section or my back, so a lot of work to do still! I am stressed out about finding a place. I know I’ll be able to find something, but I am worried I won’t be able to find something I really like. I know it’s kind of a matter of beggars can’t be choosers, but I am planning on staying here for at least a year so I need to put in the effort to make myself happy where it counts. I have come to understand that you make your own happiness. If there isn’t something happening naturally that makes you happy, work to make something new that does. You get what you give, whether it’s for an immediate benefit or for hope in the future.

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