Aside from being completely exhausted, today was a great fucking day. I lost 1.5 pounds this week (which I am ok with since I lost 3 last week and I have been eating enough for like 6 people), I got the apartment that I applied for on Monday, a very friendly black man at Yogurtland called me “stunning”, I ordered the ruffle duvet from Urban Outfitters that I have wanted for over a year, and it was on SALE. Can I get a “fuck yeah”? Fuck yeah. I go in tomorrow to sign my contract and get my keys. I am so excited. All I want to do is lay on the floor in my empty apartment and know that it’s mine. It’s going to be full of me, and my stuff, and my everything. MIIINNEEE. But for real I am so tired. I did not sleep enough last night at all. I fell asleep in my car today… unintentionally… waiting for work… yeah. I could only muster up the strength to burn 300 calories at the gym tonight and it almost killed me. Tomorrow is round 2! I am off to get the most amount of sleep I can. Good night. 🙂


Fifty Nine

Today was probably the laziest day I’ve had in a few weeks. It was much needed. Went to zumba this morning, did laundry,.. and that’s it. So great. To top it all off The Biggest Loser is on tonight and I succeeded in getting a shift that I needed switched at work. The only downer of the day is that I did not hear back about the apartment. I should hear from them tomorrow, but I work all day tomorrow and the next day so it would have been nice to know today when I had some free time. If I don’t get it I will be super disappointed. It really is a perfect apartment for me. SO ANXIOUS. I have been starving the last few days. No matter how much I eat during the day I always feel hungry. I don’t know if it’s my metabolism speeding up so eating more is a good thing or if it’s me having some kind of stressed out will power break down and eating more is a terrible thing. I obviously want it to be my metabolism speeding up, but we will find out tomorrow! It’s not like I have been eating bad food, it’s all been healthy food, it’s just been a lot of it. Tonight I need get my food for tomorrow ready and go buy some fruit annddd I am going to get a ccoffffffeeeeeee aaahhhhhhhh*drroool. Other than that I am just stayin on my grind. Makin money and makin moves. Keepin my head up no matter what.

Fifty Eight

What a good day 🙂 It’s rainy, I feel good, I found an apartment I am putting in an application for, I am making my delicious “fattening” dinner tonight, and then it’s rockin it out at the gym. I really like the apartment I found. It has nice new carpet, big windows, big oven, pretty big bedroom, big bathroom with amazing lighting, good water pressure, high ceilings, it’s upstairs, has an actual thermostat instead of a wall heater, and is right next to the freeway. Pretty much all the things I was looking for. The only thing is that the kitchen is a little small and the oven isn’t gas, but I think I’ll survive. The rent is only 500, which is 50 bucks less then what I was planning on spending. The complex is kind of in the ghetto, but it’s nice and not tacky. I am not above living in the ghetto. I hope I get it. I have a good feeling about it, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. Wish me luck!!! I should know if I got sometime this week. So pumped!

Fifty Seven

I just had steak and asparagus. BOMB. Today was chill, work was good and now I am going to go watch The Walking Dead with the boys. Should be a good episode! I realized today that on Wednesday I was one pounds away from being 175. I know that probably seems like a lot still to most people, but I literally can not remember the last time I weighed 175. It’s kind of a big deal. I know this sounds like a fat girl excuse, but I do have a lot of muscle. There is definitely a good amount of fat over it, but I will always weigh a lot no matter how low my body fat percentage is. I don’t even know what I’m going to do once I get into the 160’s. I might have to have a party. Going to go look at apartments tomorrow!! I am excited. I hope that I can eventually find a place that I love and that I have good enough credit and all that jazz. Doin work the next two days at the gym and then it’s weigh in Wednesday! I am nervous. I hope I continued to lose weight this week. Another plateau would SUCCKKK. We will see. I’m out!

Fifty Six


I. can’t. believe. today. is. finally. over. Thank baby Jesus. Today was definitely longer and harder than yesterday. Moma’s was crazy tonight, I ran pretty hard at the gym, and I didn’t get much sleep last night. GUESS WHAT I GET TO DO TOMORROW? sleeeeeeeeeeeep iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. It’s gonna be so good. Also The Walking Dead is on tomorrow. Yay. Monday I am going to look at a few possible apartments, Tuesday is zumba, and other than that everything is going alright. I do have these little bruises on my right, upper thigh though. There are about 5 of them and they helluh hurt. I have had them for about a week now, but I have no idea what they’re from. I don’t have any more anywhere else. I don’t think I am anemic. Sooooo, I don’t know. OH WELL. Don’t care. Time for mudda fuggin bed! Bye.

Fifty Five

*SIGH* As I lie here after a 17 hour day, I think: “Do I really have to wake up in 5 1/2 hours and do it all over again?”. Yes. The answer is yes. I will be able to sleep Sunday though, oohhh Sunday. Monday I am going to this property management company I discovered to look at some listings for apartments. It should definitely be interesting to see what Bako has to offer. I did an hour on the elliptical tonight, which would have kicked my ass 2 months ago and has kicked my ass in the past multiple times, but it was actually pretty easy. I never wanted to stop, or slow down, and when I was done I wasn’t even sure if I was tired or not. Granted the elliptical isn’t a very intense machine, but I need to keep the impact as low as possible until my knee goes back to normal. It felt alright today, but still painful to bend. I guess I am actually getting in shape. Its uh… never happened before. It’s amazing and nerve wrecking. I am going to have to find the time to be able to work out for a much longer period of time now in order to get the burn I need. Or I guess I could just do the same amount of time while working twice as hard, buuutttt that sounds heelllllluuhhhh lame. Not much more to say tonight except that I am exhausted, tomorrow can’t be over fast enough, and Marcus come home we love you. BYE.

Fifty Four

The next two days are going to be crazy. Just because I have to get up at 6am to open at Yogurtland, then go to Moma’s at night, and I won’t be getting a lot of sleep because both nights I will be at the gym until around 11:30. Doin’ it big! I did wake up today and cook all the food I will need since I won’t be home for up to 17 hours each day. So at least that’s taken care of. Tonight at the gym I’m doin laps in the pool! I am excited because I know it is going to kick my ass. Also, my knee is messed up. I think from the impact of running this last week. So having a good low-impact, but ass kicking work out tonight will be good. I have gotten a couple of positive comments from people about how I look, which is always very nice and uplifting. I am at a place where I can see the difference and the improvement in myself, but I also see a ton of things I still need to fix. I need to lose fat pretty much everywhere still. I know I have a ton muscle, so I am not too worried about toning once the fat is gone. I am pretty sure that no matter how thin my arms get, they will always bother me. I am also not happy with my legs or my mid section or my back, so a lot of work to do still! I am stressed out about finding a place. I know I’ll be able to find something, but I am worried I won’t be able to find something I really like. I know it’s kind of a matter of beggars can’t be choosers, but I am planning on staying here for at least a year so I need to put in the effort to make myself happy where it counts. I have come to understand that you make your own happiness. If there isn’t something happening naturally that makes you happy, work to make something new that does. You get what you give, whether it’s for an immediate benefit or for hope in the future.